Whatever Happens, Happens
"Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the mouth." - Mike Tyson
I'm letting the chips fall where they may, because believing I can change the way things are going is making me ill.
Last week when I talked to Thelma and let her know that I needed to get some things done careerwise, it was a thought altering process.
Thelma and I broke up about a year ago this week. The grounds of which were some shaky shit about me not including her as part of my plans to leave Detroit. I did include her, she blew me off, and when it got real and I was packing, she freaked. So she broke up with me.
In the past year it's been on and off, trying to make things work. Frankly, I don't even like her. I think she's kind of dizzy and the lack of deep thoughts bothers me, especially when I think about us raising children. But she is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, bar none. She's drop dead gorgeous and she's mine for the taking.
It kind of makes me look like I think less of myself for my attempts to stick with her for such a shallow reason. Actually, I think pretty highly of myself. But I like the lift I'd get having such an incredible dime attached to my arm. It makes shit so much easier. I've watched people lose their minds just to give her free shit. It's funny to watch. Every time I look at her, I think "Damn, she's dizzy". Then I see a stranger see her, man or woman, and then I remember, "Oh yeah, she's beautiful".
But I told her last week that we needed to think about the future and how we were going to proceed. If we would be together, where we would go from here, etc.
She stalled on me. Told me she didn't want to leave the state. I asked her what she'd do if there were no opportunities left in Michigan, which is built on manufacturing that's drying up. She didn't have a plan. I got furious and started yelling at her "It is inconsiderate not to make plans for your career. This fuckin' state is dying and you wanna stay here for what? You job is portable! My job is portable! What are you staying here for?"
She told me she was staying because her mother was here. That's all I needed to know.
If her mother was ailing or sick or otherwise didn't have a life, I'd kinda understand. But she'll be a jobless ass sitting around with her mother.
I'll fuck her until I get sick of her or meet her replacement. But as far as any serious thought about a future with her, I think otherwise.
I'm letting the chips fall where they may, because believing I can change the way things are going is making me ill.
Last week when I talked to Thelma and let her know that I needed to get some things done careerwise, it was a thought altering process.
Thelma and I broke up about a year ago this week. The grounds of which were some shaky shit about me not including her as part of my plans to leave Detroit. I did include her, she blew me off, and when it got real and I was packing, she freaked. So she broke up with me.
In the past year it's been on and off, trying to make things work. Frankly, I don't even like her. I think she's kind of dizzy and the lack of deep thoughts bothers me, especially when I think about us raising children. But she is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, bar none. She's drop dead gorgeous and she's mine for the taking.
It kind of makes me look like I think less of myself for my attempts to stick with her for such a shallow reason. Actually, I think pretty highly of myself. But I like the lift I'd get having such an incredible dime attached to my arm. It makes shit so much easier. I've watched people lose their minds just to give her free shit. It's funny to watch. Every time I look at her, I think "Damn, she's dizzy". Then I see a stranger see her, man or woman, and then I remember, "Oh yeah, she's beautiful".
But I told her last week that we needed to think about the future and how we were going to proceed. If we would be together, where we would go from here, etc.
She stalled on me. Told me she didn't want to leave the state. I asked her what she'd do if there were no opportunities left in Michigan, which is built on manufacturing that's drying up. She didn't have a plan. I got furious and started yelling at her "It is inconsiderate not to make plans for your career. This fuckin' state is dying and you wanna stay here for what? You job is portable! My job is portable! What are you staying here for?"
She told me she was staying because her mother was here. That's all I needed to know.
If her mother was ailing or sick or otherwise didn't have a life, I'd kinda understand. But she'll be a jobless ass sitting around with her mother.
I'll fuck her until I get sick of her or meet her replacement. But as far as any serious thought about a future with her, I think otherwise.
posted by Knockout Zed @ 1:34 PM
5 comments
5 Comments:
Yeah I obviously ain't doing shyt today...nothing but reading about you (I swear I'm going to buy me a life one of these days)
But since it's just me and you for awhile I'll go ahead and say this...Thelma sounds pretty uninspiring. Yeah she's the best looking woman you've ever seen but looks fade away, you can't seriously build a relationship with someone who doesn't feed you mentally and emotionally. But you know this already *smile*
I hate to say it but at some point you gotta get over what you thought you had and prepare yourself for what your supposed to have. I said this in an old post...those luxury models are usually taxing on other areas of your life. This is why my perspective on FINE has changed over the last year. A fine man is relative...what holds more weight is his depth, insight, and experiences. Give me an ugly man who can make me think outside myself and I'm happy as a faggot in boystown!
Good Luck figuring it all out Sweetie!!!
You know what? I spent all weekend thinking about that. Looks fade away. I should know better and it's not like I haven't had a string of "head turners".
I'm kind of giving up because the only intellectually stimulating conversations I have with women are ONLINE or women who are long time friends. This shit is the pits, Z.
It's really not all about looks to me, but in the absence of everything else, looks will do.
You know how women complain about the lack of good men? That's how I feel about good women. I'm not looking for superwoman, but shit, someone I can talk to, who looks decent and is ambitious. I haven't found it yet.
KZ
"This shit is the pits" couldn't of said it better myself. One thing is for certain, you know what you want (and half these bastards out here can't articulate that shyt) so your ahead of the game already. Knowing what you want means when she arrives you'll recognize her.
All the bullshit you dealing with currently is strictly for entertainment purposes but when SHE arrives your heart and mind will do cartwheels at the same time. Sounds corney but its that corney shit that is the most meanigful.
If I knew the way to Satan's Anus I'd come and make you all mine LOL!! We could sit and be book nerds together, laughing at the ofays and all the backwoods azz people in that shitty azz town you livin in.
Seriously, keep your head up...all your sacrifice will pay off in the end...it seems like a bum deal right now but when you get what you want all this will be a hilarious azz memory. And remember Royce's Daughter was one of the first to tell you that.
Excellent, love it! » » »
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